Seeing

I lean against the wall,
Balancing myself
As I aim my foot
Into my shoe.

And in that moment
I see myself
As others see me:
   Old
   Graying hair
   Frail
   Struggling to kneel
      And stand back up again
   Holding the railing
   As I slowly ascend or descend
      The stairs
   Needing a supporting hand
      As I step off the curb.

I would wish
That they could see me
As I see myself
   Resilient
   Independent
   Resourceful
   Contented with my lot in life
   Unafraid of the future
In my heart and mind
Forever young.

Rose Owens
Copyright 2022

I carry an image of myself in my mind and it doesn’t match that older woman I see in the mirror.  Where did she come from? In my mind I am younger. My hair has its golden highlights. The wrinkles I see in the mirror are missing. I have more stamina. I am confident. I can visualize a project and carry it through to completion.  Oh, I can still do that—but there are more rest stops along the way. 

When I consider that image that I carry in my head, I realize that my mind has managed to stop the aging process, but my body has not cooperated. If I could actually turn the clock of time back, would I?

My successes, my triumphs, my dark moments and even my failures exist in my memory and that is where they belong. I have no desire to repeat them. The clock that ticks away the moments of my life moves forward, and I also move forward and look to the future.